We are excited to share the second installment from Sincerely Pete Events on Destination Wedding Planning advice! If you missed out, make sure to read up on the first installment “9 Destination Planning Tips” or see her very own Italy Destination Wedding! Take it away Sarah-

Outer Banks Wedding Planning

You and your partner have decided a destination wedding is the way to go. But before you start packing your bags and heading off to someplace fabulous, you have to answer to your family, friends and bank account. The excitement of this trip of a lifetime is likely contagious, but by making this choice, you’re also taking responsibility for your guest’s expectations and happiness.

Here’s our cheat sheet on Destination Expectations.

THE ATTENDANCE GAME
If you are going to be disappointed that someone can’t make it to your wedding because it’s a destination, you should probably reconsider your decision. There is never going to be a perfect day, time or destination that works for everyone. However, you can, and should, check in with those VIPs before signing on the dotted line. Avoid disappointment by checking with parents, close relatives and best friends.

Don’t pressure guests to attend. Traveling to a destination wedding can be expensive and time consuming and some people just won’t be able to swing it. Be understanding and possibly find another way to celebrate with those who can’t attend. You also shouldn’t expect that a certain percentage of invited guests won’t attend. Do not over-invite for your venue or accommodations or budget. Assume until someone tells you they can’t be there, that there is a chance they will. We find guests can’t ignore the lure of a “forced vacation”.

When choosing a date, we highly suggest staying away from major holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving and Hanukkah. It isn’t very considerate to ask guests to spend time away from their family to attend your wedding.

DC Bachelorette Party by Deb Lindsay Photography

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE {TIMED} DETAILS
Providing guests with all the information they need for dates, location, travel, accommodations and scheduled events is so important. Send save-the-dates as soon as possible – there is no timeline on this! Know where you’re going two years ahead of time? Send a save-the-date so guests can plan vacation time and start saving for the trip. At least nine to twelve months ahead of time is preferred. A quick note on guest list: While no one should ever assume they are invited anywhere, they do. Destination weddings are typically a smaller affair attended by close friends and family but not always. Use tact and honesty when addressing a friend who asks why they aren’t invited. Yes – it will be uncomfortable, but being honest is always best.

Set up a wedding website where you can share information as it becomes available. Make sure you have all the major details – dates, hotel room blocks, and scheduled events – outlined and updated when you send your invitations.

Send invitations earlier than you would for a local wedding. We suggest 3 months prior to the date. Consider including separate cards to invite guests to satellite celebrations – welcome reception, excursions, post-wedding brunch, etc. Include check boxes on your reply card so you can track who’s coming to which events. We also highly recommend detailing a dress code in your invitation, You want to be sure guests pack appropriately and wear proper shoes.

Again, use your wedding website to share maps, airport information, as well as to outline any provided transportation or how guests can secure their own.

Finally, we find sending out a newsletter to all your “yes” guests a month before the wedding to be a nice touch. It should include a final itinerary, notes on attire, information about activities they might want to book during free time, and those activities you have planned (and whether or not they are optional or hosted). This doesn’t necessarily need to be mailed – a .pdf email works just fine. Be sure to include contact information for the wedding couple, or their wedding planner, in case guests have any problems en route.

EVERYONE HAS A BUDGET
Sometimes we hear couples say they are choosing to do a destination wedding because it will be less expensive than a local wedding. The reason a destination wedding is less expensive is most often the size of the guest list – smaller guest list, smaller budget. Additionally, don’t expect to find discounted rates for non-weekend events overseas. It’s extremely common for weddings to be hosted any day of the week in other countries, unlike the US which is Saturday and weekend-centric

For your destination wedding, you, as a couple, should (ahem, are required by the general rule of courtesy) to pay for the following:

– Ceremony & reception, including food, drinks, entertainment and decor.
– Any required events – ie: wedding party luncheon or rehearsal dinner
– Planned group excursions, unless guests have been notified of an additional cost ahead of time.

Optional expenses:
– Due to the longer nature of most destination events, couples often host additional events such as a welcome reception or farewell brunch, but this is not required.  Pre and post-wedding events are not required but are well-received and appreciated by guests who have traveled far and spend money to be with you for your wedding day. It would be considered good form to host at least one additional event outside the day itself. Welcome receptions are always a good idea in our book. And while technically there isn’t a rule saying you have to invite everyone, it doesn’t really make sense not to.
– Transportation to and from the above mentioned events. It should feel less optional if guests will, regardless of where they stay, need transportation to these functions

Guests are expected to pay for their own travel and accommodations as well as any other expenses that normally go along with travel – meals, transportation, etc. The same goes for wedding party, though some couples will choose to pay for this. We find that with most destination events, guests are making plans to travel before or after the actual wedding so getting to and from planes or trains and hotels usually are the guests responsibility

DC Welcome Box Ideas

BE HOSPITABLE – DON’T ACT LIKE A CRUISE DIRECTOR
Being gracious goes a long way, especially after a long trip. Let guests know how happy you are that they made the journey by welcoming them with a gift. We’ve seen everything from bottled water and sunscreen to local snacks and sips. Always include a welcome letter and printed itinerary with contact information in case they forgot it at home. A personalized top-10 list of things do in the area is always well received. Whatever you do, either make it easy to pack or something guests will use and consume during their stay.

When it comes to extracurricular activities outside of the wedding day, there are no rules but we find at least one organized activity to be a nice gesture. Perhaps it’s a sunset cruise, city tour or snorkeling adventure but it could be something as simple as telling guests to meet you on the beach on a certain day. Remember, guests have traveled to be with you, so spend time with them!

At the same time, don’t overload guests with scheduled activities. It is still a vacation after all and guests will appreciate some open blocks of time to explore or relax on their own.

About Sarah Pete founder of Sincerely Pete and Wanderlust Wedding Co:
Sarah Pete Rizzi is the owner of Sincerely Pete, a full service wedding planning and design company based in the Washington, D.C. area, and co-founder of Wanderlust Wedding Co, a destination wedding company planning events all over the world. With over 15 years of experience in the hospitality & events industries, Sarah Pete is a pro at making sure timelines, budgets and important details are all perfectly managed. Each Sincerely Pete or Wanderlust Wed Co groom or bride-to-be can relax knowing they have an educated and experienced team bringing their vision come to life. Sarah Pete believes in a personal, curated & customized approach to each wedding couple she works with, taking their values & personalities into account and keeping the relationship as the focus of the wedding. She’s personally planned events in over 25 states including Hawaii as well as Italy, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Honduras, and St. Thomas.